Why Me?
Many women struggle with trying to get pregnant. Here are some things to consider and know when this seems to be a struggle for you. Now, this is just from my experience, so may not meet everyone's needs.
Why Me? Did I do something Wrong?
As you begin to go through the process of having a baby and things do not seem to be working out like you had planned. This seems to be the first thought that jumps in to most folks heads. Why Me? I remember analyzing my life to see what I had done wrong and why God was doing this to me. Was I not going to be a good mom? Was he trying to punish me for something? How come teenagers get pregnant and I did every thing "right" and still nothing?
I do not know the answers to all these questions and never will but I can tell you I can't wait to ask God one day when I see Him in heaven! And I am convinced He will have had a plan in it all. I think that is the key - I had to trust that God does have a plan. It could be that I use this experience to give Him glory and some attention. It could be that He wanted me to come in contact with some doctors, nurses or even women who are dealing with the same thing. Who knows - the main thing I have to trust is that He does love me and He does have purpose that does include me if I let Him.
He is not withholding a blessing from me for discipline purposes, or becuase others are more worthy. He is doing what is best for me and I have to trust that. He is not looking to hurt me or harm me or any of that. He is looking to advance His name - which is hard for me to grasp sometimes -but that is His purpose. It is not all about me. And I guess, in the midst of going through 5 years of trying to have a baby, He was hoping that would happen.
Am I alone?
When I first started the long road in dealing with infertility I only knew of ONE other person that had dealt with the same thing. My friends were all getting pregnant at the drop of a hat or it seemed. I would share my frustration a little at bible study and small group and I would get these blank looks. I even decided one day that their must be a book at the Christian book store that can give me some sort of insight or wisdom in dealing with this frustration. After a long time looking I came across one book. It had a horrible title it was called "Empty Womb, Aching Heart". UGH! But I got it because I was so determined to see how others dealt with this issue. And I really liked it. It was so nice for me to read about other's struggles and see that they too were crying when they accidentally walked down the diaper isle. It was just nice to know I was not alone. It almost feels like I was part of a select few - a little more positive way to look at it.
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