Helpful tips to help you not go crazy during this school year! All of these are from moms who are in the thick of it or just finishing it all up! Check out some great wisdom.
Dinner, Activities, Paper work - does it ever end?
Courtney gives us some of her insight and plans as she has tackled this problem for many years.
She has 3 boys (18, 16 and 14).
If multiple kids our rule was: one activity per kid per semester.
(Yes, that means they have to pick one, and NOT do all three or whatever)
*It is definately challenging but SUPER good training in this "overactivity/Babylon" culture we live in. We CANNOT and should not have it all!! It's a lie that we CAN HAVE IT ALL and trying to, drives families into an overcommitted busy FRENZY and Satan is having a hayday!!! (Can you tell I feel strongly about this one?)
"Yes, they are all good things, but pick ONE and then next semester, you may pick a different one if you want to try something new." And, by the way, "NO, Johnny will not give up his college soccer scholarship if he doesn't play soccer for 10 straight years starting when he is 2!!! If Johnny really has that kind pf potential, it will show up as he enters the teen years and he'll be just fine and maybe not be BURNED OUT!!
Young elementary years are the time to experience a variety of different fun things over a several year period. OK, I think you get the point. Sorry...for going on.
I have a bulletin board in the kitchen divided into three parts, one part for each kid. Their name is at the top of their section. That's where they put, or I put, important papers, schedules, reminders, picture orders, soccer times, phone #'s of a coach, school counselor, etc. etc. It may not look super NEAT, but man does it keep the important stuff in a visual, safe place. And they are trained to know to put important stuff there, under their name. "Mom, do you have my picture form?" Mom, "Look on the bulletin board." Whew~ it's awesome!!
The Dreaded Dinner Dilemma~ (cooking is not my favorite, but it is a necessary evil...is that too strong?
) I've always said that if I ever had a maid, oops, housecleaning specialist, I would want her over the dinner hour. 5-7PM. But alas, that is not my lot, soooo it's me:
I sit down on whatever day and plan a one week menu. I then make my grocery list based on that menu, plus any other items we need..I keep a running list by the fridge and if people need stuff, toothpaste etc. they jot it on the list....I then get all the coupons that would work with my list, and go to the store. My goal is to go to the store once a week.
Here's the kicker~ I have had to TRAIN MY BRAIN to think "dinner" very early in the morning...yuck!
But, I get whatever meat needs thawing...etc. or throw whatever in the crock-pot and it's now "in process" instead of 5 o'clock coming and "Oh my gosh, what are we going to do for dinner?"
I want to show what this might look like because it is very simple and basic!!!
A strip of paper with each day of the week at the top. Under that day I will put for example:
Day 1: spaghetti, salad, bread
Day 2: mesquite chicken, brocolli, rice, bread
Day 3: pork stir fry, bread, fruit etc......
NOTICE:
a meat (main dish)
a vegetable and or fruit
a noodle/ rice/ mac n cheese/ potatoe
a bread
I have another little bulletin board over by my fridge where I keep that "menu" and I look at it to know "what's for dinner tonight?" This REALLY works for me.... and oh...
P.S. We ALL drink milk at dinner. Period.
P.S.S. As they are able, each child takes their own dishes to the sink, rinses them, and YES, puts them in the dishwasher.
*** We have made dinner as a family, a very major goal in our family,(and we live in a time where one must DETERMINE/RESOLVE to do this, or it will not happen!) and the rewards are truly priceless!!!! Studies have proven that this is one of the top 4 things that helps keep youth out of trouble!!!!!!****
“Touching Base” Chats
Laura is a mom of one 6 year old boy and one 1 year old girl.
My son is away from me now for 7 hours a day, Monday through Friday. I know I cannot be there with him all day, but I still want to know what is going on in his life, heart, mind and relationships while he is away. I think a great habit to start is “touching base chats”.
This is the time that you get to hear all about you child’s day...time when they are the teacher and you are the learner. I tell Fisher that it has been a long time since I was in kindergarden and so he is going to have to be the expert and tell me all the things that I don’t know happening in his school and classroom.
Here is a disclaimer – families come in all different shapes and sizes and sometimes there is no “sit down” time in a day…especially when sports and activities really get going…remember...the point is to “touch base” with your children’s day… This can be anything from a quick chat in the car on the way home or on the way to soccer practice to a longer “sit down” talk at the table…it can be done one on one (if the day allows) or interactively with all of your children taking turns answering from the back seat or while waiting in the drive thru line at McDonald’s…truly the idea is just to get to connect and get a little glimpse into their day…. It may even teach them how to ask each other questions about their days. You can even say okay today is Monday, as we drive to school, it is Joe's day to tell us about _______". Give each kid a day. Who knows - make it work for you - you can do it, but just remember....
The bottom line when trying to deal with the after school rush of snack, homework, dinner and practices is to make sure your children always know that you are interested in their day and in them.
Here are some ideas of questions to ask:
1. I ask him about two very important times in his day…Lunch and recess…these are two times when he is free to interact with kids on a relaxed level and knowing what he does then without the teachers instruction is important.
Lunch –did he like his food, who did he sit by, did he see the custodians and say hi to them and thank them…(I have taught him their names and he thanks them by name at lunch)
Recess - who did he play with and why, what did they play?
2. I ask him about choices made by him and the other students throughout the day. This is an opportunity to hear what the behavior level is like in the classroom (P.S…. remember names…it may be important to associate the kids that make “bad choices” and get in trouble with who he sits by at lunch and who he plays with at recess…not to force his friendships…but to be informed) I ask him if he made any good choices and if he made any bad choices that he was disciplined for. I ask if anyone used mean words and if anyone used kind words…(trying not to call kids mean, but the words mean) This is when I get an earful… “Tommy had to move his card to orange because he hit Jacob, or Daniel had to sit out during recess, because he would not quit making noises in circle time” I hear it all…I ask him how he responded to any mean words and we talk about it. This is my favorite part…I learn who is who and how he responds to the various behaviors in the classroom. This part cuts to the heart of his day and how he interacts with the teacher and other students. I just ask questions and process the information…he just talks away with no idea how valuable the information is he is giving me.
3. I ask about his favorite subject (which currently is P.E.) and we talk about what they did/learned etc. (usually with a physical demonstration)
4. We end the chat with a high and a low of the day…where he tells me the best thing and the worst thing about his day…so far there is not a worst (even when a kid threw up at lunch…yuck…that would be my worst)…that is ok…I just want to give him an opportunity to tell me if something upset him or was a low point in his day.
We understand that "Crunch Time" or "The Witching Hour" can suck your family and time up like a vacuum and spit you out at bedtime. Time is sometimes just not at a premium and this can not all take place in one conversation when you have big families, but try and pick just one question to answer in the car to practice or while taking baths. Remember to just let them know you are interested in their day - who knows they may not say anything but they will remember you asking.
Paper Attack!
"Here is how I feel is a good way to stay on top of the barrage of paper clutter that comes through our doors from school. Establish a wall of fame for your children. Each day the children's papers are collect in a folder. At the end of the week your child gets to pick out their favorite one of the week. That picture gets put on the wall of fame. This helps our children learn how to let go of things too. Then teach them how to address a manila envelope and send the rest of them to one of their grandparents. Then next week you put last week's paper in a notebook and display the new one. At the end of a year you have 52 papers instead of a huge overwhelming box." By the FlyLady
Homework Help
This mom has 3 boys, one not in school yet and picks up 2 other boys of a friend. So, here is her after school homework routine.
"Well, for one I have a folder titled "Davis' Homework" (Davis is the 4 yr. old) that is full of preschool pages I copied off the internet or books I bought at the teacher supply store. That way he is working on letters and numbers, all the while thinking he's doing homework (just like his brothers) ...and I look like I'm actually spending time teaching him! I make everyone do all their homework asap...before TV, Playstation, or outside. Luckily, my friend's kids are the same grade as my 2 boys, so I pair them up and if they have a question or don't get something, they ask each other. If they have a Mad Minute, they get timed together. The 4th graders have lots of reading and worksheets answering questions, so they work together, too. I have them quiz each other with spelling words and vocab words. They don't have guided reading yet, but when they do, I"ll have them pair up for that, too. Sometimes I'll have them read to Davis...again...they are doing their work and I have that guilt covered for the day about spending quality book reading time with him! It's a win-win situation!"
General Wisdom
Debbie has a freshman in high school and a senior in high school. Here are some of her thoughts about the school year:
"Remember I have learned everything I know by doing it the wrong way first!
(1) a big family calendar displayed where everyone sees it and a Sunday family meeting to discuss the upcoming week. Don't forget to throw in a board game to make it fun.
(2) Never complain about having to drive your children to their many extra-curricular events. Take advantage of "car time" to find out what is going on in your child's life. After my daughter began driving herself around I found I really missed the time we spent in the car together.
(3) Make every attempt to have some time around the dinner table. I am not a cook, but I have many good memories around the table with a pizza box and my family. We ALL need to re-connect, announce, or vent in a safe place where we will be love unconditionally.
(4) Packing lunches and choosing clothing the night before heads off early morning disagreements. There's my two-cents worth!"
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